Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Feel Fine

I had an amusing thought: what if the Rapture has already occurred? Everything is the same as it ever was -- nobody is missing. Nobody qualified. Not that it should come as any surprise.

According to the Rapture Ready web site, today's rapture index is 183, which on their scale translates to "fasten your seatbelts!" Scan the "Comments on Active Categories" section:

  • 04 Unemployment: Unemployment tops 10 percent.
  • 05 Inflation: Several commodities are at multi-year highs.
  • 06 Interest Rates: The yield on bond prices has reached a 9 month high.
  • 07 The Economy: The debt crisis in Europe is spreading around the world.
  • 08 Oil Supply/Price: The price of oil climbs higher.
  • 09 Debt and Trade: The mortgage bailout will add $1.2 trillion to the Federal debt.
  • 10 Financial unrest: The U.S. dollar is down sharply, and gold is at a new high.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? The Republicans are trying to bring on the apocalypse! They think that Obama is the Antichrist, and maybe this will finally expose him.

Some other wonks on the net are trying to rain on everyone's parade. They offer a list of years throughout the ages where the end of the world (TM) was forecast. Mark your calendar for May 21st.

Silly prognosticators! The Rapture has already occurred. The only things missing are a couple of socks, some pets in my neighborhood, and a hitherto undiscovered tribe in the Amazon. I hope they like harp music.

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